Regurgitating
June 25th, 2009 by mopey“There are only n minus two choices remaining.”
I hear people walking in late, like I usually would be, but in this situation it’s actually impossible since the schedule revolves around me.
I kinda live in a computer world lately. Where like, most social interaction I get is over irc and sometimes facebook, but god not twitter, and email I guess.
People who don’t know me assume they know me. and I assume I know what I care to know about them when I guess in actuallity I really don’t have any idea. A lot of these people I’ve never even seen. The truth is, I basically am interested in girls I think are cute.
Even the classes I take lately are electronic. Whenever I “talk”, I say things I think are witty or clever. ha.
The truth is, nobody can really know anybody.
The professor drones on in front of the class and I listen from miles and years away. I’ve learned and forgotten exactly this sort of stuff at least a few times before.
What I’ve forgotten could fill a book.
I think about all the idiotic things I’ve done – all the times I’ve been whiney or overreacted, or was wrong, or mean. I try to brush them aside, knowing that when some people think of me these moments in my life will be all they remember. Electronically mistakes could stay with me forever. Maybe this is one of those times, posted for everyone to see. But it seems more likely it’s just another nothing. Just another free stream of thought that nobody should really care about.
It’s like this class. It was taped years ago. Why am I paying a thousand dollars to take it again? So I can have another piece of paper that proves I deserve more dollar signs, I guess. An investment.
It’s getting harder and harder because in an increasingly small world of six billion people, everyone has done … like… everything. Whenever I get excited about a new idea there are hundreds like it. And y’know, eventually it would be nice to create something unique and stop just regurgitating. And I know this is a thought I’ve thought many times before, but I haven’t actually done anything about it.